When I want a rest from political or sports gambling, it is interesting to mosey on over to this strange and sordid small section of internet chances making called”star and entertainment specials,” at which — wait…Elon Musk and Johnny Depp are using a cage game?!?
And you are already able to wager on it?
Let us see where the rabbit hole goes…
If there is anything positive to state 2020, this season knows how to make a hell of a headline.
One day folks are arguing whether the President invited his taxpayers to take bleach to fight a virus. Before it had been the meth-addled Tiger King along with his rival who probably fed her late husband into a tiger. Meanwhile, the world leaders have been convening on a dishonest Caribbean islandwhose proprietor died under mysterious conditions in national custody.
Why would not a billionaire tech entrepreneur consent to fulfill among the nation’s greatest actors at the Octagon?
Just like 99percent of conflicts initiated between two differently respectable guys — (if I am still permitted to say things such as this at 2020) — in the center of the proposal for mutual battle is really a love interest. More particularly, a crazy love interest — celebrity Amber Heard.
After her divorce against Johnny Depp, Heard was lcinked into Musk for a moment. In an continuing libel lawsuit against the British paper The Sun, Depp stated his ex-wife along with the Tesla creator had been having an affair prior to their divorce.
Throughout the trial, among those Pirates of the Caribbean celebrity’s texts around Elon was read . It stated:
“Let us see whether Mollusk comes with a set, comes to watch me personally face-to-face. I will show him things he has never seen before such as another side of the **k once I slit off it.”
In reaction to this threat lobbied in his genitals which Elon Musk joked into the New York Times:”
“If Johnny needs a cage struggle, just allow me to know.”
So today, here we’re
Before We Get in the Betting Lines
That is clearly much more of a novelty wager. It is astronomically unlikely that among the world’s wealthiest men will take part in a cage battle.
Though I recall a Friends episode according to this specific premise. John Favreau played with a super-rich man dating Monica — she believed he was about to suggest if he broke the information that he had been coaching for the UFC. If I recall properly, Tank Abbott created a cameo and severed Monica’s dude inside moments of their bell ringing.
Allowed, Johnny Depp is a far softer competition than 1990’s Tank Abbott, but Musk nevertheless has quite a little longer difficult to lose than he can possibly benefit from devoting himself to this absurd spectacle. I mean — would Tesla’s inventory worth respond to the surface of the franchise creating these sorts of decisions? Elon’s facing his fortune with his weirdo Twitter accounts. I am fairly certain the board gave him a talking-to following the entire ordeal about smoking marijuana on Joe Rogan’s podcast.
Depp does not appear any more prone than Musk to become interested at a fighting struggle. From the start, he has been about moving the castration path — that is several levels past the sort of anger which might be satiated by combined martial arts.
Plus, Amber Heard published a few images of Johnny handed out on the ground, together with all sorts of booze and drugs lying about neighboring. The actor appears to have consumed a lot of Hunter S Thompson’s character than anyone had accomplished.
Currently, according to the numbers of cocaine at the pics, it is potential Depp could hype up himself enough to agree with your cage game — and when permitted to use the medication fight night, may be a powerful foe. But you’re speaking about an event without a sanctioning at all, which will get involved within the next area.
The purpose isthat you are making this bet to have fun, to discuss the bet slide on societal networking / with pals, and also a”just in case.” It is going to assuredly be solved as a”push,” after this story goes everywhere, and the combat does not occur.
Where’s the Musk-Depp Cage Fight Eat Place?
|(BetOnline) Location||Betting Odds|
|Fight Isle (Abu Dhabi)||+300|
As I said, in which the”Battle of this Amber Heard Victims” will be hauled is completely determined by the way”official” that they want the occasion to be. As an example to be held at a country with a battle sports sanctioning body and promoter regulations, both Depp and Musk might need to comply with health criteria like obtaining a physical rather than being coked up or drunk on fight night.
In case this photograph was some indicator, the latter could be a non-starter. Besides the moment possibility that they would hold the bout in a casino or place, which removes Los Angeles (+250), Florida (+500).
United Kingdom +400
In the united kingdom, at which Johnny Depp’s libel lawsuit is continuing, Amber’s exes could have more chance. There are no regulatory requirements such as MMA promoters or fighters , and that offers the sort of laissez-faire mindset towards security we are likely to want about this item to get it from the floor.
Plus, even if Depp is currently in the united kingdom for the trial, then it just makes sense to program the battle someplace nearby. I think Jack Sparrow also possesses a house in France, that will be enough to allow him to train and live without needing to move back-and-forth around the Atlantic.
Elon Musk additionally features an incentive to sponsor the event from the uk. Upon hearing Musk’s cage game obstacle, Conor McGregor’s MMA mentor provided to train the Space X supervisor. John Kavanagh runs Straight Blast Gym (SBG) Ireland conveniently situated in a Dublin.
— Coach Kavanagh (@John_Kavanagh) July 27, 2020
He Is GonId Need It
And trust me, Elon may utilize the training. The billionaire said doing Tae Kwon Do as a child to Joe Rogan and voiced interest in chasing Brazilian jiu-jitsu — however I have never been more convinced than in my evaluation that there is no way in hell Elon Musk can garbage. I am not talking about relative to actual MMA fighters — only ordinary adults.
Along with growing up unbelievably plump, Elon was an extremely introverted man — he committed his entire life “tech-y” stuff. It is possible to tell from his tweets and the way he behaves in these long-form Joe Rogan interviews which his entire character is a wealthy nerd’s approximation of everything”cool” is. He is what happens in the event you hand an incel countless dollars and international notoriety overnight.
Those men usually can not fight.
Both parties are inclined to be on the side of this pond, and people could prevent regulations and health criteria; the UK seems pretty perfect.
(BetOnline) Fight Location
Just like I mentioned, Johnny Depp allegedly resides in France part time. Since he will soon be turning up a legal conflict based about allegations of emotionally abusing his ex-wife, Depp may not need to so-much-as listen to the term”struggle” inside the United Kingdom’s boundaries when that is done.
When a promoter wishes to maximize their probability of making this occur, the transfer would be always to make it convenient for Johnny Depp as you can. Elon is odd and obsessed with self-promotion to chase case if a person receives the ball a 57-year-old conquered down celebrity using a now-legendary drug addiction should encounter zero immunity if he is to make it into the cage if it is time.
On an optimistic note, France eventually legalized combined martial arts from February, raising the ban that is prevented UFC by enlarging their existence there. Regrettably, the game currently falls under the authority of this French Boxing Federation.
Following such a lengthy drive for MMA hailed, no one will sanction a battle between two wealthy”Eskimo Brothers,” feuding within a shared ex.
However, what a way to show combined martial arts’ validity as a sporting event in a year of being warranted!!!
South Africa +600
South Africa’s native son returns home! Although, I am not sure it would be the warmest reception.
In accordance with this publication,”Elon Musk: Tesla, SpaceX, and the Quest for a wonderful Future,” composed by Ashlee Vance, Errol Musk — that the entrepreneur’s daddy — possessed one of the biggest houses in Pretoria. If Elon moved from South Africa in 17, that puts him leaving the nation about two decades until apartheid was abolished.
According to what I have read concerning wealthy white inhabitants of apartheid SA, their treatment of different races, and also what has happened in the decades since — a successful Elon Musk standing within a battered Captain Jack Sparrow might be a sight anyone wants to see.
On the flip side, in case you are wealthy and powerful enough, folks will forgive almost anything when it means that they could promise you as”among their own.” A pinch of vicarious victory may go a ways.
Even accepting the ridiculous assumption this cage battle could happen, I am saying there is no way they would maintain it at South Africa.
Pirate Ship (+1000) or Mars (+2000)
Unless there is room to get a cage around the boat in the Tampa Bay Buccaneers’ endzone,” Pirates of the Caribbean fashion boats have not existed for more than a hundred decades. I guess they could try out the modern day pirates’ versions, but you’re referring to little rubber speedboats or some stolen boat.
I’d counsel millionaires and billionaires to not board these sorts of pirates’ boats — this scenario will go backward before anybody gets in their own gloves.
As for Mars…
Visualize two guys hating each other enough to participate in fisticuffs within their 50’s, consenting to traveling tens of thousands of miles together at the tight living quarters of a Space X cop. They arrive this remote world, eventually become the first people to set foot on the sand, assemble the necessary infrastructure to sustain life, then, then historical mission — with its mandatory alliance — beat up each other.
Oh, ” and that I hope you have everything from your system through the bout( because 1) you are stuck living together for the remainder of your lives( and 2) neither of you’re seeing Amber Heard back again.
Can Amber Heard Attend Musk-Depp Cage Fight?
I’d really like to dwell in the sort of ill Bizzaro-world in which this cage game couldn’t just occur, however, Amber Heard will attend the occasion such as a High School film. She would sit in position of prominence, such as, for instance, a lifeguard stand touching the crate, and the winner has to be her boyfriend take her to blossom or anything.
The picture of two incredibly successful middle-aged men immaturely clawing at one another and spilling blood at a cage within the acceptance of a shaky B-list celebrity up me.
Heard to Attend?
- Trade Opportunities
- No -1000
- Yes +550
Why not place the chances for”yes” at +5500000? ) What is the distinction?
Specially combined with another Musk vs. Depp gambling markets. Can be Amber travel to Europe to attend to the special guest of this day? Is she likely to astronaut college so that she could hitch a ride in their own rocket ship to Mars?
I will not go into the way in which the pirate boat option would perform.
Go right ahead and bet all of the net value “No” in –1000 here. Unless I find the capacity to attest my preferred reality to astounding amounts, you are not likely to get rid of this bet.
In a parallel reality where both of these consented to struggle, Amber Heard subsequently agreeing to See a brawl involving the ex-husband she is accused of domestic violence and also the guy who — based on court transcripts — texted her
“Anyhow, sorry to be an idiot. The radio silence hurts a good deal. It only things because I love you.”
Does not seem like somebody she is very enthusiastic about visiting.
Cage Fight Winner
This brings us to this question in the heart of the matter: who’d win in a battle?
- Musk is younger than the celebrity in 49 — specialists estimate he’s 6 ft. 2 . Tall and weighs 181 pounds)
- Depp is 57 years old, stands in an estimated 5 pm 10 in.) and weighs about 172 pounds)
Shockingly, aside from the era, they are relatively evenly matched so far as weight and height are involved. Fighters with these measurements might easily maintain exactly the exact same weight category.
- Elon is younger, somewhat thicker, has additional funds and accessibility to the very best trainers and training/recovery methods, and also appears to really have a cleaner lifestyle.
- Johnny Depp recently testified on the British High Court he’s been doing drugs because he was a kid and supposedly asserts a cocaine-and-booze-fueled lifestyle for this afternoon.
But, all of the years of ingesting and hard drugs can cost Depp in relation to physical wellbeing, they will make up for in tenacity, numbness into pain, and unpredictability. Especially if the celebrity is permitted to drink and do drugs instantly ahead or during the struggle.
- Matchup Odds
- Elon Musk -300
- Johnny Depp +200
Johnny has a psychological edge.
Elon was texting Amber if she Depp were married. He must play with the entire”Indecent Proposal,””billionaire-rebound-guy swooping into steal your woman” function during the divorce and wake. Apart from Heard maybe not returning calls or texts, Tesla guy has nothing to be angry about.
Depp, on the other hand, is speaking about eliminating people’s”penis”
And judging from what dredged in court, he is internalized lots of the anger and tenacity that described his friend, Hunter S Thompson.
Nothing John Kavanagh will instruct Elon Musk at a year of instruction will inflict the harm Depp puts himself on your typical Tuesday when the previously-mentioned photographs are representative of fact.
With no many years of struggle expertise, the pampered billionaire will not have the resources to defend from the seriousness of an heartbroken cocaine user using nothing left to shed. It is like fending off a charging coyote when checking the email from your robe and panties.
It is that irresponsible abandon — just available after decades of nurturing a necessarily disorderly, reckless, and really heinous lifestyle — which contributes to me select the underdog: Johnny Depp at +200 moneyline chances.
(BetOnline) Musk vs. Depp